“Are We Different?” part 1

October 20, 2010 § Leave a comment

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am working on a story to tell about the creation of racism in America in the 17th & 18th centuries. After a fair amount of research, and much more to come. I’m finally making some significant progress. I scribbled of a rough draft of the first half of the story, which I’m sharing here, and would really appreciate some feedback on! Writing, while I’m capable, is not my first strength.

A little housekeeping before I begin, so you understand the story. Right now the giraffes don’t have any names. So the two main characters are referred to as ‘A’ and ‘B’. Also, in an essay I read on the subject, the writer pointed out the four types of people one might encounter in these situations. Which are: 1. Victimizers; the perpetrators of evil. 2. Victims; the recipients of evil. 3. Bystanders; do nothing in the face of evil. 4. Rescuers; the compassionate/altruistic, takes action against evil.

A form of all of these characters will appear at some point or another in my story. And now for the story!

Are We Different? (<- working title)

*story starts with an older giraffe surrounded by a group of young giraffes, the old one is telling them the story of their ancestors*

Many seasons ago, our ancestors lived in a different part of the land. A place with lots of food and fresh water, and no danger to speak of.

But the longer they stayed, the more they multiplied, until one day there were too many giraffes and not enough food. So a small group of them

decided to go exploring. (They carried some food on their backs for the journey) and set off into the sunrise to look for new land.

They walked for many, many days. Some of them got tired and turned back, but some kept walking, hoping to find a new and better land.

*the old giraffe is still narrating the whole thing, but some of the characters will now speak for themselves amidst that.*

After seemingly endless days of walking through the grassland, the lead giraffe, ‘A’, spotted a small green hump on the horizon. “Look! Trees!” he yelled back

to his clan (< herd?)

The herd picked up their pace, and by that afternoon they reached the edge of a new forest. The trees were big and green, and covered with delicious leaves.

They could hear trickling water in the distance. Delighted to have found this paradise, and exhausted from the long journey, the giraffes stopped to rest, for the night on the edge of their new home; Unaware that they were being watched from the forest.

As the sun rose, the travelers stretched their long legs and munched some fresh leaves for breakfast. The lead giraffe, ‘A’ turned to his herd; ” ‘B’ and I will explore

the forest and find the place of our new home. We’ll be back by nightfall.”

As ‘A’ and ‘B’ strode into the woods, they did not notice they were being followed… After walking for some time through the sunlight forest ‘B’ noticed some tracks

on the forest floor. “Look, ‘A’! Hoof-prints…” ‘A’ inspected the prints, “I’m sure it was just a small herd passing through.” But as they walked a little further, they heard voices in the distance, they got closer and peered through the foliage. There at a great big watering hole was another group of giraffes! ‘A’ and ‘B’ looked at each in amazement, they hadn’t thought that anyone else might already be living here. They quickly turned around and headed back to camp. ‘B’ turned to ‘A’, “There’s already a herd here, where will we live?” ‘A’ looked at ‘B’ (disgustedly? snootily?) and said, “Didn’t you SEE them? They’re not like us, they have STRIPES! Surely we are better (more superior?) then they are! How could they possibly hide from lions in the trees? Didn’t you see how small they are? At least a foot shorter than we are, they probably can’t even reach the best leaves on the tree!”

‘B’ shrugged, “yeah but…”

‘A’ interrupted, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out, I’m sure once we explain things to them, they’ll understand and move out so we can live here.”

 

To Be Continued…

This is just the first part of the story, in the next part, find out what happens when ‘A’ convinces his herd that they are better then the native giraffes and they

bully the natives into submission, until a pride of lions moves into the area hoping to catch a tasty snack. The only way the giraffes will survive is if they overcome their differences and work together to ward off the lions!

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